Dr. Dre - The Chronic: Stems and Seeds

This is dedicated to those of us who just don’t get it.

So yeah, I found a classic hip-hop album. “The Chronic” was suggested by a co-worker, Patrick, and it was obvious. Of course, I had heard some of the big hits off the album (Fuck Wit Dre Day, Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang, and Bitches Ain't Shit), but never sat down and listened to the album front to back. Now that I’ve got that taken care of, it’s time for my first negative review.

I blame dc Talk for this. When I was a kid in the 80’s, I enjoyed what hip-hop I was exposed to. Mostly, it was the stuff on Mtv. It was the Beastie Boys, Run DMC, Fat Boys, and such. Then “gangsta rap” happened, and old rich people got scared. The media uproar convinced my mother that listening to the likes of Public Enemy or NWA would turn me into a thug, so rap was outlawed in the house. Well, most rap was.

Enter dc Talk. They were a Christian Rap group that was popular amongst people who liked Christian Rap. Mom bought their self-titled first album for me, and that was it. If this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ClRxHBtI6Y) was what I had to listen to if I wanted to listen to rap, I just wasn’t going to listen to rap. It soured me on the genre for far too long.

This is all to say that I didn’t forget about Dre, I just never knew him. His height of popularity coincided with my height of animosity towards rap. In the last couple of years, I have finally figured out that there’s a lot of good hip-hop out there. There’s a bunch of stuff that I missed that was excellent (Wu Tang, A Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, Nas, the Roots, etc.) and a lot of new stuff that blows my mind (Run the Jewels and clipping. are both incredible!). A lot of older stuff ages pretty well. The Chronic, in my opinion, did not.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Oh my. Right off the bat, there’s a two minute kind of bizarre tirade about people that I don’t know or care about. From Snoop. Honestly, this seemed much more Snoop’s album than Dre’s. I can’t verify this, but I’m pretty sure that Snoop (who calls himself Eastwood on this album for some reason) actually has more verses on “The Chronic” than Dre. Anyway, the very first actual song on the album is a screed against… other rappers, I guess? 

Really, going through the album for the first time felt like I was listening to some kind of strange in-joke that I missed out on. There was a lot of posturing about being hard and gangstery that sounded like middle schoolers hooting about what badasses they are. The end of “Fuck Wit Dre Day” is just Snoop telling a bunch of people to “eat a big fat dick.” Clever.

The music was, in a word, annoying. The high pitched mono-synth that was played over the beats gave me a headache. The bass lines were actually pretty groovy and catchy, and perhaps the saving grace of most of the songs. I didn’t think the rhymes or rhythms were particularly impressive (for high-level hip-hop, that is. I mean, I couldn’t do it, but I feel like any moderately talented rapper could pull that stuff off). There were occasional forays into the trite and cringe-worthy fake Jamaican rasta junk that threw me out of whatever groove I tried to get myself into.

And, of course, there were the “skits.” This album is patient zero for the great deez nutz pandemic of the 90’s. To this day, outbreaks appear in isolated clusters on internet forums and frat parties across the US. “The $20 Sack Pyramid” was terribly unfunny. “The Doctor’s Office” was just gross. Leave that shit to De La Soul.

So yeah, not a great first impression.

WHAT I LOVED

There were a couple of standout tracks on this album. “The Day the N****z Took Over,” while employing that Famaican bullshit in some verses, was actually a pretty good song about the LA Riots. It was definitely the most interesting song on the album, and easily the most mature. 

The unfortunately named “Lyrical Gangbang” was more old-school rap than most of the rest of the album. The Lady of Rage and Kurupt’s verses were amazing. The Bonham sample really helped keep the song driving forward. The god damn synth wasn’t constant. Good stuff.

I dug the vocal samples used throughout the album. They reminded me of a hip-hop Skinny Puppy, with little snippets from film and other media being played throughout the album. My favorite was Rudy Ray Moore’s “wall-nut” bit at the start of “Deeez Nuuuts.” See, Dre? That’s how you make a dick joke.

WHAT I HATED

A lot. I guess I went over a lot of it with my first impressions, but there were some specifics that I’d like to get into.

The exclusivity of the album bothered me. I felt left out from the start. I know that the album wasn’t exactly geared towards a 36 year old white dude with blood pressure issues, but most hip-hop albums generally aren’t. This was more about the fact that nearly the entire album was a reference to something, a beef with someone, or just plain childishness. 

Then there’s the misogyny. I mean, I know that hip-hop has never really been that kind to women, and I know that The Lady of Rage was featured heavily on the album, but wow. Bitches Ain’t Shit? This isn’t the casual stuff. This is hardcore, mainline woman hate. Ben Folds did an amusing cover of the song that highlighted just how over the top the lyrics are. It’s funny because it’s so sad.

Basically, the album started with hatred and ended with hatred. There was a lot of posturing and bullshit in between. I’ve listened to it quite a few times now, and I’ll be glad to never listen to it again.

WAS IT A CLASSIC?

“The Chronic” was an album that inspired many artists, including Eminem, and launched multiple careers. It was what put Death Row (and, sadly, Suge Knight) on the map. Snoop, Warren G, Kurupt, and Nate Dogg all came from that album. Ask anyone who listened to it when it came out, and they will say that it is unequivocally a classic.

That said, it aged horribly. It really didn’t deliver much in the way of memorable or excellent music. It’s a classic for what it did, not for what it was. It’s a piece of music history, but history is where it belongs. It has no place in the world today.

WHAT’S NEXT?

Well that’s up to you, now, isn’t it? This review took far too long, and probably alienated a few of you, but I’d like to get cracking on another (if only to get the taste of this one out of my mouth). Please, leave a comment with some feedback, a suggestion for any album that you think is a classic, or an anecdote about having a great time listening to “The Chronic” with your friends. Feel free to tell me exactly how wrong I am. Mostly, I’d just love to hear from you. The last column was kind of lonely.

Thanks for waiting, and thanks for reading!